I had placed all the supplements on the counter and with the one that was a cow thyroid bovine….that was a supplement prescribed by my ::chiropractic neurologist::” he warned against it…”Do you know what’s in here? You shouldn’t take something unless you know what it is…” he said..with a smirk. Later I will find out bc it is not FDA approved. That smirk and the fact that the way he flippantly told me what he thought my diagnosis was paired with the fact that he doesn’t see diet as part of the story with Thyroid…I don’t expect to return…
Granted…
I was already hysterical. Internally hysterical…and it was ooozing out…
I was nervous about this day …this appointment…and even though I meditated for 20 minutes before I walked into the kitchen… Steve and I had gotten into an argument in minutes about a money issue and ..I was asking him to lay off but it was too late – we were in it….and so the morning had started like most mornings…Stressed..arguing. This is something that makes Steve feel better bc he gets stuff off his chest but it makes me more stressed out… I have asked if we can table those conversations till later in the day.
Sitting in the Dr, Office private office he said the Nodule was large and that he was going to Biopsy it. I was just sitting there,..Steve next to me…there,,,but not my DAD there….and then the Dr. asks about the supplements I am taking and I showed them to him.
Thyrophin by standard process
Chaste tree by standard process
Ovex by standard process
Dermatrophin by standard process
J.crows Ligols solution ( 2% Distilled water potassium iodine 4% iodine2%)
Elderberry
Glucosamine hyalironic Avis
Gentle iron
K2 and D3
Evening primrose1300x2
Turmeric liquid
Calcium citrate plus with magnesium
He was only concerned really with the Iodine ( which i added from my own research and which I instantly felt better from -either with a tiny amount of drops n water or on my wrist) and the Bovine Thyroid…non FDA approved Thyrophin.
I was crying …I used the two last tissues he had..from his desk… ( tissues on Desks…not . a great sign..not great tissues…) This Dr. was totally unable to truly connect but again I was finally letting all of this out…in this guys office….while Steve sat next to me but almost like when we drove to the hospital from the PIE I ate too much of…he wasn’t really really there somehow…like his body is there but he disappeared …..or cold or distant or logical…( half on his phone) and I was unable to form a sentence.. Where were my warm blooded huggers to hold me…I felt alone …in a room and at times like this… it could feel that way.
” You shouldn’t take anything you don’t know what’s in it..yeah this may affect your blood work and then iodine…no stop that too…”
I felt like a fool…for a moment..
“But the food ..I mean the kinds of food..I mean…what kind of food.” I Tried to form coherent sentences. I was overwhelmed….I was a mess…I was scared….
He took me to get my blood wok done and then bc of my insurance will send it out for processing… to Quest Labs and then we went to his office and I laid down and he took a sonogram ( another one from the one I took that my Chiropractic Dr ordered bc she saw something ( my regular DR, had just said my numbers were a little low…and even though I had mentioned my symptoms over the years…specifically my extreme PMS or moodiness…this thyroid sonogram was never ordered…( my check up was in May and I had a lump in May she didn’t notice but I had heard a Journalist on TV thank a tv watcher for saving his life by saying she was a nurse and from watching him on TV she saw it ) but the lack of connection bc my numbers or because I push through…and order medicinal mary Jane..My General Dr. never thought to ask for a sonogram of my thyroid….. which I hear is normal bc my numbers were normal and honestly I wasn’t putting the pieces together… and anyway….I have a very large GOITER…
He first feel my throat and says…it is actually large on both sides and then I remove my little S neck-lass I just got fixed..give it to Steve and lay down and he looks at his screen picture of my thyroid and he instantly says
“This looks like Hashimoto’s “he says with a weird kind of joy and escalation. It sounds like he is joking a laugh and I sit up and he says “yep, that’s what it looks like” and I cry Hysterical into my hands….
Steve is there but not my dad there and I am crying and gathering my tears in a hard napkin from the metal dispenser…it hurts…I hurt…I am shocked and sad…Steve is stoic and taking mental notes…hard and detailed…
I lay back down and with the machine on my throat ( fuck this month has been insane…I had the first sonogram three weeks ago and a MRI on my breast ( some weird protocol my general DR. told me to do bc on Mom) Tuesday and now this on Friday and Jaedon had a ECHO Cardio the week in-between…like my grandmother used to say…when she was going to see her doctors… I am going to see my Boy friends.)
“see it looks like Swiss cheese..it should be smooth…and this nodule…it doesn’t look cancerous…but we will make sure and see..it may even be the Hashimoto’s and not a nodule…just a really inflamed thyroid from the Hashimoto’s..”
“You see?” he says as he turns the screen to show me
..I have tears running down the side of my face…I see it…I fucking see the Swiss chess part of me that is unable to keep these tears from flowing down down down my face…yep..I got it…
“next is the Biopsy…” he clips
How long have I had this…?
“it is big…it could be ten years…maybe longer”
So when I had my kids…
I don’t know..maybe longer
And as far as food…what do I not eat…is this hyper or hypo or If this is Hashimoto’s what do I eat or don’t eat and
“.food has nothing to do with this.” He says..
and out of respect for him…somehow Steve chimes in with “He’s a doctor” and then I ask more questions and although I am happy I was able to get in to see him so soon I feel dismissed “unheard” and then he confirms my disconnect with him by restating…food is not the issue and that I would maybe take a synthetic thyroid… from Pharma
“oh like the cow thyroid in Thyrophin” i say
“no this is approved my FDA and synthetic.. or maybe a radioactive iodine. if it turns out to be Graves.” he goes on
He doesn’t look that old but I feel his old thoughts and they aren’t aligned but I try and be polite…
He then takes a cold spray and sprays my neck and then puts three needles in my throat and then I sit up and he says…again..well it could be that the nodule we see is really still the Hoshimoto’s and it is large and formed line a nodule..doesn’t look like cancer but we will get the lab work back..i will be out of town in Italy..first trip in forever and so my partner will call you with the results…
Thank you DR. and we leave…
stand in the parking lot ( we took two cars- Steve had golf and fit this in which was My Aunt’s rewust for me to have someone there…which was a great idea) Steve is kind of cold with health issues…doesn’t think you need to over think them and shuts down over health issues.. .he isn’t good with this be being stressed and yet….that is what all this thyroid stuff causes physically……
I cry with him..in the car as he begs me to stop taking the supplements and the iodine bc the Dr said they may actually mess with the blood work.
I agree…kind of…to stop …I get in my car I cry hysterical..I call Heather I call my mom I call my Aunt …I call my dear friend.. I need woman’s hug….Steve hugs and supports but I am too much..
And the papers the Doctor gave us as we were int he office on HYPO or Hoshimoto’s talks about heavy or irregular periods and Steve asked asked him
“could my extreme emotional PMS be a side affect of this…whole thing..?”
They are different hormones but if you are having issue from you thyroid with your hormones and then you have the Menstrual shift it can be affecting it and pushing it over the top” yes.
WHY DIDN’t THE DOT’s GET PUT TOGEther sooner… just found several books that speak about heavy bleeding and hormones and thyroid…and
i digress or progess
It is 5 am now…this story fresh in my head wanted to be on paper…I am up…I put a little iodine on my wrist…i feel better…i don’t know.. this year …this is what this will be about…for me…
Steve told me he isn’t going to work for Patrick… that he was asked to be a point man at Asset mark and that he is happy about being recognized.
i am hard on Steve…on myself…I hope that this new understanding of a huge thing I have going on will slowly guide me to a better more even keel life…
Food wise I was off everything up until tow days ago…till the stress pushed me over…but I am done with my little trial I am not interested in testing if FOOD affect me or not…HELLO.
…the coffee was decaf and I had two sips and it was gross…the drinks …the tiny bit of quesadilla…the cheese, the bread…etc…
…I am back on it. no gluten, no coffee, no dairy. and will go and see a second opinion on Thursday Morning…regardless if I get my result back from the first Dr. or not…
I think I need to find a holistic approaching person that is both medical and aware that food causes issues.. The Next Doctor I see on Thursday will be the opinion of a female and her posted reviews all talk about the diet she put her patients on.