Tag: Implants

Acting Kitchen Marriage SURFing Process

Thinking of removing your implants. Think about this first

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One thing to think about before you remove your implants is HOW MUCH do you love yourself. Becasue Boobs are a buffer…they shield you from your own hate and make you into a pretense….so if you remove them..your shields are down and you have to face everything straight on…you can’t push your chest out and deflect the negativity or perhaps they absorb it for us….from us and to us…and like anything FAKE….it deflects and the reality of our world or our natural state is distorted to the point that the distortion becomes the reality.
sooooooo to be clear…best get your LOVE on before you take those out because I spent four years rebuilding my LIFE before I removed them and I still was brought to my knees at the lack of POWER I had without them…but being truthful- power built on falseness is not power at all but a delusion and thus the crumbling of a delusion is what brought me to my knees but once I rose up..I have hand rails to grab..an acting career to reenter…a marriage to strengthen…and children and loving kind friends to support me…

I set the stage for my entrance and when I finally reentered…I was not alone or living a lie..I was my original self with more scars…

so just prep your emotional life before you do it.

a few questions..

Why did you get them
Does that reason still exist
Are you ok with no having big boobs because socially they are a commodity
are you ok with letting go of a version of yourself
Are you ok with recasting yourself into the itty bitty committee.
Are you OK?

Then just shower yourself in Kindness and find loving hands to do the procedures and take your time and peel the ROLE off…slowly and lovingly for if you do it with a quick hand…as many of these doctors suggest…you will have missed the mourning process and it is in that mourning you set yourself free.

Kitchen

Letting go of….my Implants

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The producer and star of the next play I was going to be in, cornered me in my tiny kitchen in my NYC apartment and looked at me and said…” The Director is concerned about your breasts.”

He had just gotten a full view of them that evening while I was portraying Helen of Troy and protesting who couldn’t want “these” and pulled my top down.

It was closing night for Helen of Troy …so looking back …I probably heard those words more as HELEN than Susie when I heard this NOTE. but both Susie’s drive and Helen’s passion became determined to FIX the problem.

I went home to Miami and went to a doctor. He suggested a lift but I didn’t want scars
( ya know topless scenes and all) and so I said what are my options and there you have it..I got my boobs. I always loved big boobs but honestly the moment I saw them on me I knew they weren’t mine but my mom told me to wait it out..I did..some 18 years)

I ended up NEVER returning to NYC after the surgery…

Instead I ended up getting married and having kids

( THANK GOODNESS- if I would go get bibs ha I mean BOOBS for a role what else was a I capable of doing for a part?)

The boobs served me well in Miami and I learned to love them and use them to the best of my abilities until after the second kid was 11 I realized I Have fully and truly waited it out…and I was finished being the SEXY SUSIE – I wanted something else and thus these BOOBS they had to go.

It took a while to find the right Doctor that would allow me to process out the way I needed. From a draining of the saline to the explanation to the lift. ( she is still convinced I won’t be happy and will return in a year for the implants because she knows how many other women can’t go the long hall without the power of those boobies…a fix that once you experience you KNOW what your are REALLY missing out on )

But since MY boob explanation was part of a fuller journey of self it has a platform to rest on. I have other desires that demand NOT FAKE anything and in that I have become super content with my tiny ta tas- they are not in the way and allow me to move through the world without too much MALE GAZE from men and WOMEN…

That song Tits and Ass is TRUE- 100% and I am happy I found it out myself and was able to undue it for myself as well.