At a time in the United States and the world, I have found it important to speak from my heart and be a light in the quest to alleviate the lack of information about being a Jewish woman.

Finding your artistic voice is an unspoken journey for every creative who chooses their way over the highway—the tiny tip of a number two pencil is the goal. What exactly are you saying? How exactly are you saying it? And, as importantly, who are you saying it to?

I am a fifty-year-old actress living in a pocket of Miami that attracts travelers who need a nondescript place to relax. There isn’t any group of people in my neighborhood; it is filled with people who enjoy a simple vibe, lots of trees, and quiet walks at 4 a.m., guarded by the local cops, who take pride in keeping the area very safe.

On the beach during my morning dances with the universe, I felt a rush of emotion and a vision. I saw myself wearing a white silk robe with a sun on it, which reminded me of the Egg costume I wear in my solo show, JEWBANA.

I am making rugelach and answering phone messages with a voice recording.

I think, is this the second act? Am I doing Jewbana and taking it to the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh again with all my amazing reviews, videos, and marketing material? I was in it; I was in the surf of the emotion of the vision I was seeing. I felt the silk fabric, I felt the rugelach on the table being spread out. I heard the sound of people calling and asking me for my opinion on their situation, and I saw myself on a stage, rolling the dough, answering the questions, wearing the silk garb and feeling all of it.

I reached out to my contact from my previous time in Edinburgh, and he offered his wise and unsettling wisdom.

“You can’t take Jewbana to Edinburgh. It isn’t going to work. The anti-Semitism is too high there.” In those words, in a Facebook message, I heard the cold steel clanging of a metal garage door creak, slide, and shut.

DONE.

I was free in a way to turn my head and see that as I traveled around Miami and attended events to reacquaint myself with the community after a few months in the Northeast, I started to learn that Miami is where one million Jewish people are. One million people. And that it is among the safest places in the world to be a Jew, and that the Mayor of Miami claimed it is because the Cuban Catholics demanded it be safe for the Jews.

My show, Jewbana, which is about a Jewish woman and her Cuban Catholic family, was met with the sound of silverware on crystal. I heard it….

I have been slowly allowing the sound to chime through my body. I auditioned for the show at the JCC after my Jewish mystic Reiki chiropractor told me she thought I should be in their shows. I was aghast, and yet I turned on my toes and auditioned for the role I wanted at the callback, then rescinded my audition for a larger, more popular theater. I sat in this newfound awareness.

I found what I want to say, how I want to say it, and who I want to say it to.

I want to share my show, Jewbana, with its people. I want to celebrate the relationship between the Cubans and the Jews in this beautiful and vibrant city of Miami.

I will.
I shall.
So it is.

I arrived here with my family on the 5th of August. we picked up Nedra at the hotel she stayed the night in ( she arrived a day early) and we then drove on the opposite side of the road to our home..away from home and yet…it feels so much like home so quickly.

We rented an air b and b in Tranent…about a 25 min ride outside of Edinburgh. it is a home it is comfy it has a great kitchen and lots of rooms and bathrooms and the town is adorable and not too old town…very modern and hip.

We rehearsed int the house on the 6th and the 7th…about 10 hours in total. getting Nedra and I up to speed on where the show was. Nedra grabbed what we had done in Miami and with the song addition of IF YOU KNEW SUSIE and added in the burlesque moves for the transitions which was where the show kept falling flat.

I found my lines ( mostly;) We have changed the script so many times and I have added in so many that it was a bit hard to add int he new parts for heather and JIM. ( not his real name)

then on the 8th we had a tech rehearsal but we had to get the theater s few copies of the script. We had a little bit of an issue with this and I was getting on edge and then Nedra asked for coffee while we were late and that kind of book ethe camels back and we got into a fight.

It lasted only a few minutes and the work pulled us past ourselves.

She did an amazing job and Steve ended up buying her a coffee and just being a total gem.

then Steve took over the flying and postering lead. He met with Nick at the SPACE and got a game plan. He then picked us up and we went home and got the boys and then got ready for the show that night.

They flyer for 2 hours and I had 5 people the first night and 15 the second ( around that) and then tonight I had three.

they reduced the flying to 1 hour before the show but…We shall see.

Yesterday we actually had a photo shoot from 12-2. in the church and the theater lobby at the space. WE got kicked ut of the theater and then had some great photos taken by a photographer my press agent got me.

He was talented and I suspect the shots will be very good – egg inferno too Jesus…Heather a the alter in Roller blades and Jim in a guy outfit as well as Nedra and I at the space in the lobby and me in the outfit from the show eating the pie and stretching on the railing..

The second night the audience was amazing and kind and I was enjoying myself a lot. Tonight it was intimate and I ran the show as best I have…I have 12 more performances ..needless to say it will get better and better.

I hope the boys have the script and the technicians know how to call the show and that all goes well.

I am proud in a humbling way of the work I have done on this show. I have produced, written, stared and feel fully committed and seen and like I have left nothing on the table.

I am drenched at the end of the show. I am tired I am exhausted and it runs a good 45 minutes..it is a fun show…people in the audience smile…one guy looked at his watch but that’s something I have to accept and understand… I love my work…

Nedra is leaving tomorrow…I am sad about it…I am going to be ok…Maria is coming in a few days and then Christina and they will be super helpful…

Steve …and the boys….I could cry just thinking about it…have been so kind and loving….Jeadon was a little sad about not staying till the end of camp but them last night we talked and he was able to get over it..or maybe it was that camp ended for everyone and there is nothing to be sad about now…

They have been flying and helping and Steve…I think…there is something about this play and him helping and driving everywhere ( on the wrong side of the road) that has been so sexy and helpful and just totally affirming…

the feeling I have now is AIR…space…nothing…

I have fed a giant within me…I ma doing a one woman show and I am loving it…I am fully DOING it…all of it…and it is such a powerful freeing feeling to do…I am sure others who have done this know what I am talking about but to those that are thinking of doing it…wondering if it will really mean THAT much …change your understanding of self THAT much…well…YES…so far..yes..

I was terrified to do my first run at the soho house in their gym space while it was being refurbished and then again I was like WHAT…at the Miami Light box and now…Now I see here in Edinburgh I am ding it and it is becoming …something I do…like a gig…like a job…

I suspect we will go in early on Monday and see more plays and then from there I will be able to flyer and then into the show….althougth it has been nice staying home till about 5..

today we went to eat at a place Nedra’s friend ( who I know as well) told us about called THE ROOST. Her friends cousin owns it.

it was yummy..

Tomorrow Steve is taking Nedra to the Airport and then gig to see a famous gold course and then we are all gong to go to a hike he saw…outside of the city.

Monday I have the opportunity to perform on a stage and do a little snip of the show…I am excited about it /terrified but like not really..

Par too this is like I am going through something I have already gone through..like oh yeah..I know this…I feel it may be like this because I have been meant to do this for so long now…

Steve is smiling when he looks at me…he sees me happy and content in a massive way..

I am going to bed…It is 1:23 am

I love my life…

I love it all…..each space between the morsels of it…

xoxoxo

SUSIE