Author: Susie Taylor

Marriage

20 years and so?

Marriage is this…is this very slippery slope you are trying to navigate…to where…I suspect a look out…a viewpoint…a moment when you can access the distance you achieved. Or so I thought.

Marriage I have found in my 20 year of becoming a married woman….is about reflection…a house of mirrors you can’t escape that you eventually ( maybe) begin to feel the need to just sit down in….see the versions of you and realize…this is a truth…

maybe not you one you wished to expose
maybe not the one you thought you’d maintain the entire two decades
maybe not even a version of a person you would hug in the street but
you just the same

if you are able to receive that…a group of impressions from a person and their family and your family of who you are… then you stay married

If you can’t
If other people’s inability to totally see you whole tortures you…
I suppose ( like I have often toyed with ) RUN

RUN The hell out of anything that offers you broken versions of your perfection.

I have come to understand my kinder mirror is in nature…in the ocean and in the trees.

They care not what your camera captures.
They know not of what light allowed the golden rule to exist
they care nothing

And they–like me— respect others limited perspective….limited viewpoint…
and i …i soften my gaze –blur my vision and
feel
feel myself. we FEEL just FINE and that…that new understanding of a FINE TUNED PERSON……
sits still in the joy of her achievement…
sits anywhere on that slippery slope and realizes as she places her hands on the ground…

it was all a perspective…the ground has been leveled -the road clear and only the internal chaos has murkied the playing field.

Marriage is what you make it…
just like anything else you do in your life

So 20 years just given a spiritual handshake

Yes the sky is what you say it is Pertrucio
and yes I KATE have become a married woman
and what of that.

A place to hold my chair to sit and mediate to take a breath.
a touchstone.

My marriage is my touchstone……

to the next 20

S

Kitchen

Boundaries make your pettiness disappear.

Being open has always been my gift. Being too open has also been my down fall. Being close has been something I have learned to do. Being too open has caused me to become Petty. Artist who are Petty are not open and not vulnerable they are rigid and hard and abstruse in nature. Most artist are Petty. They act from it as a way to control their normally intuitive experience and feel that the slivers of ownership…aka …pettiness-are anchors.

I have found my pettiness has two homes. One in the lineage of my family. All the stories about trust everyone BUT keep a knife in your pocket. I focused a lot on that knife. More than I realized. I often reached into my pocket…metaphorically and with a clench of the handle insured myself I can detach this relationship when needed. I am able to CUT and RUN when the situation calls for it and that is my what people read as my “flightiness.”

Having recently had a few experiences, with sound bowls and boundaries and acting like a rigid ( in my opinion ) person I have been able to taste the flavor of pettiness. Pettiness tastes like victimhood minus the validation of resistance, of vulnerability minus Boundaries of intuition minus respect for the higher source and frustration minus the faith in process. That is pettiness. bitterness on display in micro doses…bleeding out.

Trying to validate yourself through your ideas- ideas which were not yours to begin with and rather found for a split second “ownership” in the arts is a tough idea. Ideas are not what is OWNED. What we can charge for is the execution of that found idea and if you /I haven’t executed anything on the found information then there really isn’t any reason to check the validity of that anchor you are allowing yourself to be phantom-ly be grounded by.

It is pettiness. and more importantly when being petty I have found – we are on our way- if we are self aware of the pettiness and self serving of it- to having Boundaries. LOVE is Boundaries –

Working in a state of love is working in a place that knows how to-turn the valves – lower the output- move slowly- stop flooding experiences with your “efforts” only to be disappointed by the lack of reception. Boundaries is Balance of all faucets ..equally flowing in and out and a beautiful sense of security that as one lowers the others rise and this is both personal and collaborative based.

being Petty is a sign that one lacks gracefull boundaries.
We all get knocked down
We all get up
the awareness that we are not as precious as we think we are is the strength all VICTIMS can begin to celebrate and take joy in.

Resilience is proof of power and power is not in victims and thus- one can not truly be a victim if you have power- release the offense. step away from that initial personal pain and say…

as I did when the stranger screamed at ME In the in the SUBWAY. SPEAK – they scream and with it spat in my FACE- SPEAK— I did..through my eyes and to his heart and I spoke only of motherly love for a poor lost boy on a subway who was truly just searching for his MOM.

Aren’t we all?

Kitchen

SURF Dance YOGA

people call me a yoga instructor. I suppose it is time to accept their perspective. It what I do is to help people return home through movement then yes. Yes. I am a YOGA instructor and I have developed my own yoga class that focuses on the stream line conversation with mind and body and vocal and performance and being witnessed.

SURF Dance Yoga
A four step journey out of a character we are all playing.

Susie’s class is a feel good journey of story through music and movement. I way to share your self in both total light and complete mystery. A way to NOT put limited words on your self but to find a core self to surf and enjoy.

Susie’s Vision work in manifesting your souls desire is taking place right now- click here and join the fun and creative approach to manifesting your hearts desire. You may not even know what that is but spend a few session with Susie and you will find it.

Kitchen

PRINTING PRESS

Vision Vortexing as my co chat room associate says. I see it through – feel it through- know it through me. I align my inconsistencies with the feeling and push through the recasting uncomfortabilities. I know. I see. I have always seen but the truth of a visionary is to like an actor forget me knwo the ending…step softly and kindly and curiously forward as through we are surprised because tit is the anticipation that allows it to unfold in the feeling in the feeling n the feeling of freedom. Soft Success. A new form of achievement. A way to ease into your future without destroying the past. A way to tend to others as you can and to. gently bu clearly step forward without abandoning…your true self and others.

Detachement is a necessity
Abandonment is a cheat
Ghosting is a tool but will surly play on repeat.

If you are interested in being connected – Tread careful when you detach. Grace is the least amount of energy and will warrant the leads amount of feed back.

I’ll order 25 books
in Print
If you please

If I dare
If I ask
If I request help
If I double down in faith of my vision
If I softly remember the point of this all
If I place my heart of the table and take my hand away
If I trust my own purpose
IF THEN

PRINT.

Kitchen

ANGER it does a Body good

“I have so much Anger”….I heard her say as she dipped her veggie in Hummus. Anger in my body just seeping out…”That is what all this is….these illnesses it is ANGER coming out.”

I sat still on the train as a white light skinned man hunched over with a dirty sweater and a full bag of his things- his mask over his chin and his light blue eyes piercing me…his words grow louder and louder and I sit still. I look over my scarf acting as a mask and see the eyes of everyone in the train staring back at me as he screamed in my face and questioned my ability to Speak ” Can you speak….Can you speak?” He asked me…he demanded me to answer

I stay quiet.

My eyes heard my position. I am alone here. No one is going to bat not even my friend…no one…and in that I rose above the entire train and I was entered by Mary. Mary came and gave this lepper blessing and I say lepper as she saw him. As he would have been in the days she was alive…he was spitting at me with his words and despite the covid conversation it was gross and i /Mary just sat there blessing his..looking directly into his snow blue eyes. and as the train crossed the 14 blocks I held my gaze.

when I got off I threw the water from my bottle on my hands and on my face to try and clean the moment away. And yet…I realize that I am another version of myself.
I am not scared
I am not a victim
I am MaRY
I am aligned
I am fine
I am not anything but fine

and I don’t know

Kitchen

stop Talking…..

Be aware that nothing is returning to you so it is letting you go.
It is a phase of becoming. A phase of acceptance and patience and knowing there is NO time there is NO race and know that you will be called and when you are called it will feel good and kind and right and peace and gently and soft.

Divinely inspired.

Sound-
Vibrations
Breaking Ups

Im on my bed- Im young- I’m crying- deep rooted ugly cry- I am in my room- alone
Talking to dolls and wallpaper and I am staring at a straw doll that is hangin from my ceiling over my bed. I am looking at her. Crying and my barbie house is empty with all the heads off and their hair cut off and the room is filled with the sounds of my BEEGEE record player Van Hallen’s “I’m just a gigaolo and everywhere I go…
David Lee Roth…

I hear her tell me…DANCE… I get up and I act it out…I have a mirror somewhere – it isn’t full enough….I perform for the world and I have a cane somehow and I love this…I am free.

I miss my DOll. I wish I knew how I got her and where she went. I loved her company….my friend.
love susie

Kitchen

Chord Cutting

Have you heard of this? I was just told that my friend did a CHORD cutting ceremony. I was listing to the description of what she did and I said to myself and perhaps out-loud, that is my class. My class is about getting to a place in myself to both cut chords and allow others to attach. It is more of a puppet thing than anything else. I am the puppet, these are my chords and these are now cut and now I look for other chords other strings to hold me up and what I have found ..
I have found that WHAT those strings are attached to makes all the difference.

Attache them to a person and there will always be a possibility of disappointment, Attachment to an idea and there is a chance that idea may cease to serve you BUT if you attach it to you… how I see it is a go into my song with a hook attached within me…I do the piece as I move through the STORY i find where the hook is attached and in what angle and with kindness I remove the hook. Then I take the hook and I re-hook it…I reattach it…I sort of place it in my heart and say….ok what if I was connected here on this story to my self – to my heart…what would that look like and most often…I awake form my piece and I feel freedom from everything and self sustaining energy and clarity but fresh and new and vulnerable clarity. NOT yet knowing of how powerful it is but I know this journey.. I have done this with thousands of people and stories and lies and versions of Self. I have become accustomed to letting myself go in order to find true self hooking into myself..

As artist form the theater and film world start to take a closer look on the way we create my need to question it goes quieter and I find myself in a NEW space in a new conversation with OLD friends that are new to me but old to my soul and the conversation is brought to me…offered to me and I say wow. Someone is talking ME to ME…and I feel joy and my lines vanish and my worry for why no one ever defended me disappears as I count the thousands of hooks I placed back into my heart to guide me and pull me home and I say..i BELIEVE in YOU…I can depend on you…If you fall I will catch YOU I will be waiting….TIME AFTER TIME.

xo
s

Kitchen

Space space SpAce

finding space within … I look outward for the blue print the copy the version I am searching for inside. I feel it but don’t see it. Want it but don’t know it, yearn and then dismiss it. SPACE…IT is within US.

I have spent some time at sunrise…THe sun and I have been dancing together and I try and mirror her…be her…expand her in my form and sometimes there are glimpses of her in mE.
like yesterday morning..

i turned to see her expand from a small RED HOT FIre Ball jawbreaker and then in one blink to a Massively HUGE planet…I looked down?
I was distracted? Plates shifted and time is -time is- folding in..
And in that gap -where the earth can crack- she slipped inside me and I became her. I felt her whole being with me and radiating and I felt earthed. Earthed by the sun within me.

New Role: SUN SHINE

Kitchen

why write if all is swell

nothing to speak of here. Nothing at all. so why venture into my mind to search for what and why when all is going along as it is…all be it annoyingly OK. life is annoyingly fine and I like it i receive it I feel no need to BUCK it I feel no need to set it aside because of its luke-ness. warmth is a variable based on external and-internal factors..just fine is also based on those same factors and just fine…just fine is on the presuppose of nothing…absolutely….nothing…nada and that….seems just FINE to me too

Kitchen

Dear Mrs. Mother

It has come to my attention that the year someone was born is very important to the end result of what and who they will become. It has been stated that the year is a clear indicator to who and where you will turn up and add that to your heritage and your true self…well…

I feel the true self is often muffled

Muffled by heredity and birth year and to find oneself…well…it is a feat..
To pull back the covers. The mothers the fathers the sisters the brothers the lovers the haters the misrepresentations …..to pull them back it Work and most people are too focused on actual WORKF to do the Work except a few born in a certain year and in a certain time and with a certain means…

MEANING…

If you were born in the 74 then you cam of age int he 80 and then you were sent into the work force in the mid to late 90’s and just as you were about to have a marriage say 28 the world trade center fell and with it the double punch— life ain’t what you were told…so sit your ass down and reset…
return rewrite and find a way to FIX this shit…
I mean not that you ARE married and have kids and know the TRUTHS….the hard truths and were given that TIME to find your power and then inverted it into Motherhood which is a natural act but perhaps not a natural show for many of us MOTHERS born into FREEDOM with no clear goal but to to do more than our others did because HEY they were just STAY at homes and look what that got them and then…then you are the stay at home bc of LIFE and time and the year you were born and you are in yourself the thing you were raised to be better than…says the commercials and such and so we hate ourselves and our mothers and then ourselves and it is a loop de loop until you pull back those covers and REMEMBER

Remember the moment before the hate before you decided NOT to be her before you even aligned or dis-aligned with her…

When you were JOY FILLED and the times where you were away and on your own and just being…before she said a word and popped your imagination float…

Thats where the women of 1974 are RIGHT now…. hanging out in our imagination float thinking…what world can I build up here….i remember I had a doll house with barbies I cut the hair off…an elevator with a string I pulled and rooms so many rooms to play in …

Where the fuck are my rooms… I needs more rooms more ROOM more
and I sit here with nature because she is everlasting and never tires of me and allows me to pull he and play with her and b with her and she NEVER ever pops my float….
Dear Miss. MOther Nature…