Tag: harvey

Kitchen

Letting go of… the Male Gaze

No Home for the Feminine

About a year and a half ago I learned I wanted to hang out with ONLY WOMEN-

– I was working on a play about the intense relationship between Bettie Page and Bunny Yeager and I started to feel that they used their sexuality to get ahead and in that I realized they were quite cruel to themselves and others and maybe I was too.

The Male Gaze revealed itself to me and I wanted to explore the impact it had on my life. How was a using and being used by the Male Gaze

The question was where in my life can I be go to AVOID IT?

I wanted to know the value of speaking directly to a group of women.

I considered FACEBOOK-

I spent a day removing 500 men from my facebook page, including my husband and what I found was that over the course of the year I was able to be more sincere in my videos…without placing the air of Secuality on what I was doing…in order to give it value…( something I didn’t realize I have always done)

I found that most of my life I have used my sexuality as a crutch or a sword to gain position and now speaking to women..I began to see who I was without that GAZE- without the need to implore my sexual energy to gain attention.

My facebook videos become super honest and direct and I started to see a softer version of Susie in the public eye and it was refreshing and freeing.

This understanding that I was powered and empowered through the MALE GAZE led me on a personal journey to unplug form it in every way and to every degree I could without sacrificing my authentic self.

IT took a year but I believe I have explored a life without the gaze and the detox of being without it and the joy of knowing the addiction of it and the calmness of not needing it or wanting it as I know it is a doorway to a path I have fully explored.

I yearn for newness in my life now-

S

Kitchen

Letting go of … PERFORMING

Me Myself and I
I studied acting in school since I was in 5th grade. I loved it. Learning how to become another person was fascinating to me and I became an expert at it.

The reason I am not going to “perform” ever again is that it is based on lying and deception. A tool that has allowed me to grow OFF my center. Off my Authentic point.

Learning to become another person to the best of your abilities is freeing as it allows you to look back on your OWN character with new perspective. THe issue is when you PLAY the CHaracter so long that you have forgotten which is the real YOU- the real authentic self.

Charge is powerful- wether it comes from applause or likes or money- It helps you feel like you are alive. THe problem is that sometimes that charge is plugged into the wrong outlet – not LOVE – but rather PAIN- FEAR- SEX- and you are simply creating a FALSE version of yourself.

The healing art of acting -when used to let go of characters rather than add characters is a beautiful tool for me- a process I enjoy sharing with people who desire to KNOW THEMSLEVES FULLY AS WELL.