The producer and star of the next play I was going to be in, cornered me in my tiny kitchen in my NYC apartment and looked at me and said…” The Director is concerned about your breasts.”
He had just gotten a full view of them that evening while I was portraying Helen of Troy and protesting who couldn’t want “these” and pulled my top down.
It was closing night for Helen of Troy …so looking back …I probably heard those words more as HELEN than Susie when I heard this NOTE. but both Susie’s drive and Helen’s passion became determined to FIX the problem.
I went home to Miami and went to a doctor. He suggested a lift but I didn’t want scars
( ya know topless scenes and all) and so I said what are my options and there you have it..I got my boobs. I always loved big boobs but honestly the moment I saw them on me I knew they weren’t mine but my mom told me to wait it out..I did..some 18 years)
I ended up NEVER returning to NYC after the surgery…
Instead I ended up getting married and having kids
( THANK GOODNESS- if I would go get bibs ha I mean BOOBS for a role what else was a I capable of doing for a part?)
The boobs served me well in Miami and I learned to love them and use them to the best of my abilities until after the second kid was 11 I realized I Have fully and truly waited it out…and I was finished being the SEXY SUSIE – I wanted something else and thus these BOOBS they had to go.
It took a while to find the right Doctor that would allow me to process out the way I needed. From a draining of the saline to the explanation to the lift. ( she is still convinced I won’t be happy and will return in a year for the implants because she knows how many other women can’t go the long hall without the power of those boobies…a fix that once you experience you KNOW what your are REALLY missing out on )
But since MY boob explanation was part of a fuller journey of self it has a platform to rest on. I have other desires that demand NOT FAKE anything and in that I have become super content with my tiny ta tas- they are not in the way and allow me to move through the world without too much MALE GAZE from men and WOMEN…
That song Tits and Ass is TRUE- 100% and I am happy I found it out myself and was able to undue it for myself as well.
