last night I had what I can only describe as a near death experience…it was not intentional but it was also very much my fault…I take responsibly for it and in that I own it and don’t need to be punished.FREEDOM.
Last night a part of me died…DEVON…I believe…the punisher…the part of me that judges and scores and expects to be treated in the same way but after I came back to earth last night and realized that my two boys and my husband are everything to me and who I was most sad to leave when I thought I was dying but still honored to have shared this life with them…they were just happy I was ok…they NEVER punished me….even though it was a pretty silly thing to do.
I see that nothing NO THING matters to me more than love…true pure love and that is why DEVON is most likely truly gone…she hold on to the dark side and that…my loves is a place I have been long enough…we all have.
Last night I was saying goodbye to my husband and kids and it hurt but the truth was I believe that I was saying goodbye to my daughter role that was aligned to my father…that was punished and autrocized when I did something terrible..the marriage to Tim…holding a stolen n BOB’s Baracade LIGHT
When I told my mom today about last night she cried..she didn’t get mad or yell at me…and this was true for my husband and my children…I don’t have a punishing home anymore…I don’t want to be a punishing person…I am done…the opposite then is the APPRECIATOR….
I am going to simply appreciate people and life and gifts and opportunities for what they are and nothing more…
I auditioned for Venessa Garcia and Victoria Collido at the Miami Light Project and it was more of a meet and greet for me…of what I am and who I am about…and in that was it wasn’t even an audition..in-fact I am going to think of my next audition like that…as just a meeting.
Not other career makes you perform at the table …they get to know you. and the that is what I am great at…letting them get to know…me…and that is what I will lead with…
