Author: Susie Taylor

Kitchen

neW Moons never cease to amaze me

By

try as I might I am not able to suffice
an empty need that requires but doesn’t want filling.

I am a role
A role has a job
a job has a purpose

Forget the job
your purpose
and you have no role

you are not you

and so you fall

like when Dad went
through the floor

fall

nothing inspires
NOTHING
and no one
and this is not FLOW
is this
is falling flowing just unaware and in warped speed.
Can you flow fast
can it be misunderstood

a freedom sense that is so freeing and fast you take it as a fall but indeed you are

you are

you are

in FLOW

free
from another responsibility
Celebrating

check
Please
Thanks

Kitchen Marriage SURFing Process

I slay my own dragons now

By

How we exit a story, I have said a million different times, is how we enter the next one. The art of the exit is equal to the base layer of your next canvas. Draw blood and you will need effort to cover it. Draw pain and you will need patience to hold the brush, draw anything and you will use that to draw and so…. DRAW grace and you will need but love to secure your frame.

I am about to turn 48. I can look at every one of my dominant relationships and say…in my way and from my perspective I exited the relationship at some point in GRACE….even if the very next day we have lunch…i can karmically remove my hooks from you and in that allow you leverage to shake free from me…from my holdings …from my ripple…

IF someone walks in and does my ACT for me…. SLAPS you or something…
I have lost my own power
I have been victimized twice
I have not owned my own self and I have not built my own exit but YOU have
You have built a bridge and that bridge….is what I lay me feet on
and it is sticky and it is yours and it is again

NOT MINE

SO I return
I ask for a larger audience
I seek another attempt at a graceful exit from myself as she is
less effort
Less effort

But where does all my pain go?
INSIDE ME???

Your pain is a spark to a fire that can be swallowed carefully…like a fire eater and as you do this.. in grace…in full awareness that YOU are eating you OWN ending you sacrifice your Pain…you sacrifice your INJUSCTICE…. you feel it sizzle and burn and get raw you feel your exposer your vulnerability and it…

IT FEELS everything… newly

and you hear the wind in you throat and a new space is opened a cave that was shut down from a prior avalanche of insult of injury is softly simmered open and when your lips part again…the words you speak are not of yours but of the revealed self you have just met within…

she whispers and you strain to listen
and then you only hear her
and then you remember
I am that I am and you are that your are

what good is eating my own fingers.

Kitchen

Know and Accept Yourself- Make a personal Website

By

here is something FUN to do…Go to WIX and make a free PERSONAL website
What are your menue bars and what fits below them? What is the order of the things that FIT below them and WHAT at the MOMENT has Center BOOKING…

NOw step back and take a gander… WHO ARE YOU?
How do YOU see yourself and does that corelate with the way the WORLD is currently seeing you?
If not

you got work to do missy. Change that water filter and unclog the sink because if the world doesn;t reflect you back the way you see yourself…there is awareness discord…

NOT merely internally as that is a given always just varies in degrees but the issue here is the the interpretation of WHO and HWat you are here and trying to share…

DROP it down..
like a teacher has to in a class..
Disect the amterial
and make small digestible lesson plans that have a PROCESS
and an order to their drip campaign.
know what is a MUST and know what is NOT now and KNOW fully when it all FITS at your table becase you dare to go OBTUSE in you ACTION AND THOUGHTS.

LARGE and not small and yet you have a folcrim. a home a heart that has reach…extends out..

Who does ONE THING all the time…not you

who does one thing forever? A madman…
who owns their madness in bite size pieces and places them together in a wonderful way that allows itself HERSELF to be seen..

My bibbitec is still present in a random post marked 2022 and is listed as a thing happening today.

What if I allowed that….allowed that tot happen?

Run all cylinders simultaneously from the internal board/ could I hold it…
have a grown my resilience internally and externally and are my bridges HOME infrastructured?
AM I READY.
ARE YOU?
IF NOT NOW…my kind souls…
THe we will have to wait for the NEXT portal…..

JUMP!

Kitchen

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

By

I have come to a clear understanding of WHY talking about certain subject make me angry. It is because I have absolutely NO interest in the subject.

I am a pleaser and can see through action in my past – my desire to please and help others. I sorted that out. Ran it out and let it go.

But, now I am finding that I am JUST as overwhelmed. Just as angry and frustrated and just as uninspired as I was toward the end of that ROLE of Pleasing and I JUST figured it out.

I am listening and discussing subject that I have no interest in. I pretend to be nice, to have something to connect with people about but in the end…truly… I am trying nOT to fall asleep of claw my eyes out.

I used to want to be involved and considered and then I was and now I am like- STOP ASKING ME…what do I know and more importantly CARE about what you are tleling me. I have no damns to give and this is why we argue….because I am pretending to care more than I do and I am numb from my own Bullshit!!!!

SO to that… I simply say…. I QUIT
the role of the concerned person is OVER….
BC frankly my dear

I DON’t GIVE A DAMN~

Marriage

20 years and so?

By

Marriage is this…is this very slippery slope you are trying to navigate…to where…I suspect a look out…a viewpoint…a moment when you can access the distance you achieved. Or so I thought.

Marriage I have found in my 20 year of becoming a married woman….is about reflection…a house of mirrors you can’t escape that you eventually ( maybe) begin to feel the need to just sit down in….see the versions of you and realize…this is a truth…

maybe not you one you wished to expose
maybe not the one you thought you’d maintain the entire two decades
maybe not even a version of a person you would hug in the street but
you just the same

if you are able to receive that…a group of impressions from a person and their family and your family of who you are… then you stay married

If you can’t
If other people’s inability to totally see you whole tortures you…
I suppose ( like I have often toyed with ) RUN

RUN The hell out of anything that offers you broken versions of your perfection.

I have come to understand my kinder mirror is in nature…in the ocean and in the trees.

They care not what your camera captures.
They know not of what light allowed the golden rule to exist
they care nothing

And they–like me— respect others limited perspective….limited viewpoint…
and i …i soften my gaze –blur my vision and
feel
feel myself. we FEEL just FINE and that…that new understanding of a FINE TUNED PERSON……
sits still in the joy of her achievement…
sits anywhere on that slippery slope and realizes as she places her hands on the ground…

it was all a perspective…the ground has been leveled -the road clear and only the internal chaos has murkied the playing field.

Marriage is what you make it…
just like anything else you do in your life

So 20 years just given a spiritual handshake

Yes the sky is what you say it is Pertrucio
and yes I KATE have become a married woman
and what of that.

A place to hold my chair to sit and mediate to take a breath.
a touchstone.

My marriage is my touchstone……

to the next 20

S

Kitchen

Boundaries make your pettiness disappear.

By

Being open has always been my gift. Being too open has also been my down fall. Being close has been something I have learned to do. Being too open has caused me to become Petty. Artist who are Petty are not open and not vulnerable they are rigid and hard and abstruse in nature. Most artist are Petty. They act from it as a way to control their normally intuitive experience and feel that the slivers of ownership…aka …pettiness-are anchors.

I have found my pettiness has two homes. One in the lineage of my family. All the stories about trust everyone BUT keep a knife in your pocket. I focused a lot on that knife. More than I realized. I often reached into my pocket…metaphorically and with a clench of the handle insured myself I can detach this relationship when needed. I am able to CUT and RUN when the situation calls for it and that is my what people read as my “flightiness.”

Having recently had a few experiences, with sound bowls and boundaries and acting like a rigid ( in my opinion ) person I have been able to taste the flavor of pettiness. Pettiness tastes like victimhood minus the validation of resistance, of vulnerability minus Boundaries of intuition minus respect for the higher source and frustration minus the faith in process. That is pettiness. bitterness on display in micro doses…bleeding out.

Trying to validate yourself through your ideas- ideas which were not yours to begin with and rather found for a split second “ownership” in the arts is a tough idea. Ideas are not what is OWNED. What we can charge for is the execution of that found idea and if you /I haven’t executed anything on the found information then there really isn’t any reason to check the validity of that anchor you are allowing yourself to be phantom-ly be grounded by.

It is pettiness. and more importantly when being petty I have found – we are on our way- if we are self aware of the pettiness and self serving of it- to having Boundaries. LOVE is Boundaries –

Working in a state of love is working in a place that knows how to-turn the valves – lower the output- move slowly- stop flooding experiences with your “efforts” only to be disappointed by the lack of reception. Boundaries is Balance of all faucets ..equally flowing in and out and a beautiful sense of security that as one lowers the others rise and this is both personal and collaborative based.

being Petty is a sign that one lacks gracefull boundaries.
We all get knocked down
We all get up
the awareness that we are not as precious as we think we are is the strength all VICTIMS can begin to celebrate and take joy in.

Resilience is proof of power and power is not in victims and thus- one can not truly be a victim if you have power- release the offense. step away from that initial personal pain and say…

as I did when the stranger screamed at ME In the in the SUBWAY. SPEAK – they scream and with it spat in my FACE- SPEAK— I did..through my eyes and to his heart and I spoke only of motherly love for a poor lost boy on a subway who was truly just searching for his MOM.

Aren’t we all?

Kitchen

SURF Dance YOGA

By

people call me a yoga instructor. I suppose it is time to accept their perspective. It what I do is to help people return home through movement then yes. Yes. I am a YOGA instructor and I have developed my own yoga class that focuses on the stream line conversation with mind and body and vocal and performance and being witnessed.

SURF Dance Yoga
A four step journey out of a character we are all playing.

Susie’s class is a feel good journey of story through music and movement. I way to share your self in both total light and complete mystery. A way to NOT put limited words on your self but to find a core self to surf and enjoy.

Susie’s Vision work in manifesting your souls desire is taking place right now- click here and join the fun and creative approach to manifesting your hearts desire. You may not even know what that is but spend a few session with Susie and you will find it.

Kitchen

PRINTING PRESS

By

Vision Vortexing as my co chat room associate says. I see it through – feel it through- know it through me. I align my inconsistencies with the feeling and push through the recasting uncomfortabilities. I know. I see. I have always seen but the truth of a visionary is too like an actor- forget me knowing the ending…step softly and kindly and curiously forward as though we are surprised because it is the anticipation that allows it to unfold in the feeling in the feeling n the feeling of freedom. Soft Success. A new form of achievement. A way to ease into your future without destroying the past. A way to tend to others as you can and to. gently but clearly step forward without abandoning…your true self and others.

De tachement is a necessity
Abandonment is a cheat
Ghosting is a tool but will surly play on repeat.

If you are interested in being connected – Tread careful when you detach. Grace is the least amount of energy and will warrant the leads amount of feed back.

I’ll order 25 books
in Print
If you please

If I dare
If I ask
If I request help
If I double down in faith of my vision
If I softly remember the point of this all
If I place my heart of the table and take my hand away
If I trust my own purpose
IF THEN

PRINT.

Kitchen

ANGER it does a Body good

By

“I have so much Anger”….I heard her say as she dipped her veggie in Hummus. Anger in my body just seeping out…”That is what all this is….these illnesses it is ANGER coming out.”

I sat still on the train as a white light skinned man hunched over with a dirty sweater and a full bag of his things- his mask over his chin and his light blue eyes piercing me…his words grow louder and louder and I sit still. I look over my scarf acting as a mask and see the eyes of everyone in the train staring back at me as he screamed in my face and questioned my ability to Speak ” Can you speak….Can you speak?” He asked me…he demanded me to answer

I stay quiet.

My eyes heard my position. I am alone here. No one is going to bat not even my friend…no one…and in that I rose above the entire train and I was entered by Mary. Mary came and gave this lepper blessing and I say lepper as she saw him. As he would have been in the days she was alive…he was spitting at me with his words and despite the covid conversation it was gross and i /Mary just sat there blessing his..looking directly into his snow blue eyes. and as the train crossed the 14 blocks I held my gaze.

when I got off I threw the water from my bottle on my hands and on my face to try and clean the moment away. And yet…I realize that I am another version of myself.
I am not scared
I am not a victim
I am MaRY
I am aligned
I am fine
I am not anything but fine

and I don’t know

Kitchen

stop Talking…..

By

Be aware that nothing is returning to you so it is letting you go.
It is a phase of becoming. A phase of acceptance and patience and knowing there is NO time there is NO race and know that you will be called and when you are called it will feel good and kind and right and peace and gently and soft.

Divinely inspired.

Sound-
Vibrations
Breaking Ups

Im on my bed- Im young- I’m crying- deep rooted ugly cry- I am in my room- alone
Talking to dolls and wallpaper and I am staring at a straw doll that is hangin from my ceiling over my bed. I am looking at her. Crying and my barbie house is empty with all the heads off and their hair cut off and the room is filled with the sounds of my BEEGEE record player Van Hallen’s “I’m just a gigaolo and everywhere I go…
David Lee Roth…

I hear her tell me…DANCE… I get up and I act it out…I have a mirror somewhere – it isn’t full enough….I perform for the world and I have a cane somehow and I love this…I am free.

I miss my DOll. I wish I knew how I got her and where she went. I loved her company….my friend.
love susie