met a surgeon

I met with the head at Baptist…He was wonderful and actually felt that although he could do the surgery that RAI is a good option as well and since I am an actor and my voice and my neck are kind of part of my career ( more my voice) then he actually said that the RAI is a valid option. When asked what he would tell his wife he couldn’t even commit… I felt like he was being honest and once i told him I have Hashimotos he was like well the good thyroid side is eventually going to have issues so …you will need to me on medicine at some point- whichever way you go.

After our meeting steve and I were walking out of the office and looking for his car we lost in the garage…we both had a gut feeling that the RAI pill is the way to go. I felt the risk of the surgery is too much -( scar-downtime-vocal chords- plus I had two last in the past two years and I feel like . filled my dance card- why push a surgery if I don’t need it) ) and that the precision is maybe not needed. If some of the nodule is left is that a bad things? still on the fence…

I am going to one more FINAL FINAL surgeon tomorrow and I will see if he says anything different than…”they are both good options”…just which one do I want WANT to do..I don’t want a surgery…but I also DON’T want to be HYPO but I will be bc I have Hashimotos and I will have to accept that one day.

I am also going back to my nutritionist to see about my result and what her thoughts on all this is….SOOOOO many opinions…have to allow myself to sift through them…a surgery now is better than one later…

Saw my nutritionist and she pointed out as did my DR. friend that when a surgeon says that RAI is also a fine option then that is something to consider. Usually surgeons only talk baotu surgery but this older wiser well versed Dr. was like… you have options and the nutritionist felt a non surgical approach is a good idea…

I met with the second Surgeon at UM. He was very pro surgery and was not at all interested in RAI. He felt it was not a good choice and that the risk of RAI are too great. There are recent studies that have found complications..He also did a sonogram and we saw that my right nodule is indeed swiss cheese or as he called it Hash…why are doctors so freaking funny at times like these. nLNAO

I left thinking if I had surgery he would be the guy but in the end…after all of this back and forth I had chosen to do the RAI in a week and being the healing process today.

I am not at all excited about surgery and have heard recently some bad stories so my heart isn’t in it… just from general surgery being done around town….that being said my mom, myself and others have never had issues…the only one who had an issue was my father who only did radiation and this makes me worried but FUCK THAT

I have booked the date to do the RAI and that is that and from there I will begin to have to take my medicine my ego is splitting again. I never realized how much I loved saying I wasn’t on any medications and now…now I will most likely have to say that i take….but hey there is that one chance that I will be fine and good and swell…but I am not dreaming i am envisioning a butterfly a happy healthy butterfly and that is why I texted MICA to see if I can have my butterfly dress back as a tribute…

I plan to stay at my moms and hold up there sleeping and juicing and recovering…I hope to be up and ready to go for rehearsal on that sunday..

We shall see.

I am getting my head around this… Steve agrees with me. He tends to be right…rational…at at times like this it is a good thing to have by my side..


Steve may look at an office space in my building…cute..