You set up a story…always…hang around people who remind you of your old stories and they will start to take root. I have noticed this…recently…a realist is among me and it is pulling me…back….
I claim I need help…I need assistance…I tend to get it…and thank people
but it happens that…. I get pulled into them…their reality and in order to keep in my current I fight and they bark and the honeymoon is over.
but reality is helpful too…grounds me…
One of my classes had a passionate person and a sad person
I wanted to see if the sad person could steal some passion but the sadness was too strong. Too much and jammed the passionate person and he became concerned and in that concern for another…empathy – he lost HIS….HIs…wave…and the frequency dropped…he became sad too.
so hard to stay high amongst low…
emotions are like drowning…people can pull you down and they will if you can’t hold your own….
I am seeing that I need to fly solo for a while…. need quiet time with myself…I silence myself for Thursday and Friday…
things and images, I go to for levity… are of no avail. This is when my class my method is tested… I make up my story. What is MY future self. I see her…skipping through the cobbled streets…. .I build my own story…I believe what I need to…I can’t be explaining it to anyone….rather living it…and although people helping is nice…and I need it…I have to space it out and not get sooooooooo sucked into other people’s energies…they may be amazing but they are not mine and in the end I have to SURF my own wave.
one board…one wave at a time and the wind…I can feel the wind at my back…a smile and a realization that I will be wonderful…just keep myself on my own journey…as long as I can… and then in paddling out for my next. adventure. I don’t give up my perfect wave…I don’t get too entrenched in other people’s shit…I don’t lose time worrying if they are in line…just take care of YOU my Susie and be SELFISH.
I am
