Being open has always been my gift. Being too open has also been my down fall. Being close has been something I have learned to do. Being too open has caused me to become Petty. Artist who are Petty are not open and not vulnerable they are rigid and hard and abstruse in nature. Most artist are Petty. They act from it as a way to control their normally intuitive experience and feel that the slivers of ownership…aka …pettiness-are anchors.
I have found my pettiness has two homes. One in the lineage of my family. All the stories about trust everyone BUT keep a knife in your pocket. I focused a lot on that knife. More than I realized. I often reached into my pocket…metaphorically and with a clench of the handle insured myself I can detach this relationship when needed. I am able to CUT and RUN when the situation calls for it and that is my what people read as my “flightiness.”
Having recently had a few experiences, with sound bowls and boundaries and acting like a rigid ( in my opinion ) person I have been able to taste the flavor of pettiness. Pettiness tastes like victimhood minus the validation of resistance, of vulnerability minus Boundaries of intuition minus respect for the higher source and frustration minus the faith in process. That is pettiness. bitterness on display in micro doses…bleeding out.
Trying to validate yourself through your ideas- ideas which were not yours to begin with and rather found for a split second “ownership” in the arts is a tough idea. Ideas are not what is OWNED. What we can charge for is the execution of that found idea and if you /I haven’t executed anything on the found information then there really isn’t any reason to check the validity of that anchor you are allowing yourself to be phantom-ly be grounded by.
It is pettiness. and more importantly when being petty I have found – we are on our way- if we are self aware of the pettiness and self serving of it- to having Boundaries. LOVE is Boundaries –
Working in a state of love is working in a place that knows how to-turn the valves – lower the output- move slowly- stop flooding experiences with your “efforts” only to be disappointed by the lack of reception. Boundaries is Balance of all faucets ..equally flowing in and out and a beautiful sense of security that as one lowers the others rise and this is both personal and collaborative based.
being Petty is a sign that one lacks gracefull boundaries.
We all get knocked down
We all get up
the awareness that we are not as precious as we think we are is the strength all VICTIMS can begin to celebrate and take joy in.
Resilience is proof of power and power is not in victims and thus- one can not truly be a victim if you have power- release the offense. step away from that initial personal pain and say…
as I did when the stranger screamed at ME In the in the SUBWAY. SPEAK – they scream and with it spat in my FACE- SPEAK— I did..through my eyes and to his heart and I spoke only of motherly love for a poor lost boy on a subway who was truly just searching for his MOM.
Aren’t we all?
