Category: Kitchen

Kitchen

Hello…..working MOTHER

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I am at a presipus….i realize this location becasue I am in unease..I am not used to being pulled away and allowing it to happen…I tend to buckle and release my career and crawl to the side of my children but this month I am going to hold my ground…resist the urge to throw up my arms and rather embrace the feeling of being separated…embrace the feeling of succeeding in my career and my art and not let the guilt or sadness that I am not watching them smile at me hold me back..

THis world- AMERICA – which we live in is ANGRY and I want to try and see what would happen if as one artist..ME…enter in a concept of maternal….unconditional love….because that is easy enough if we/i stop getting angry at mothers who mother…if I just move along and become the Mother Terressa vibe when I can…or not…perhaps I will just ACT and create love in my eyes and that will be enough….

Today I head to Rehearsal and I will play both an angry ex wife and a Nurse…I will play them honestly and indepth and I will love my role with all my heart regardless of their possition in the story..

I will then drive to the Biltmore again and have a call back for a Lottery commercial about someone finding something on the Beach- which I have- an APPLE Watch for real- and then back to the Hilton for another run through of the show –

I am working..I am possibly getting sick…maybe another urinary track infection…which is said to be cause my being Pissed…I was I was mad at TIM for that call back to pain but then he was able to explain his actions and then I released it last night…in a prayer in the night and I feel better

I told Steve how the three holidays I am missing are making me sad but he helped me remember this is what I want and it is ok and ‘that the kid and I are ok…”
Like yesterday Mason and I went to South Beach for a few hours and it was nice and we ate at UPLAND and he told me he had been upset with me bc I took away his phone and that’s been why he hasn’t been himself towards…me…it made me sad, to be the bad MOM but it also made me understand that those actions…willing to not be liked by my son are ok..
We are fine now…

I am gathering monologues from people about me and understanding people’s perspective of things…it is interesting to hear the thoughts of others about me…not surprising but interesting..

I am excited to see what I make of all this and how my one woman show turns out…
My story told through the eyes of myself and reflected through others/
S

Kitchen

A lil about DEVON and her issues…

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Devon is the part of me that can’t stand any other woman coming near my husband…even if it is his mother..I hate it..i hate how he acts like a child near her..like her KID and I am his wife..so the role of CHILD wins and it is disgusting to DEVON…not cute…annoying and it bothers DEVON.that SHE has that affect on people…DEVON finds it imasculating snd doesn’t enjoy her desire to take control over Susie’s Life and then in the Kitchen no LESS>..in SUSIE’s KITCHEN……She begins to plot out the plans and then warns about renting cars and UGHHHHHHH I want to throw knives…

How she exclaimed how she will take the kids around Scotland while
we are there I almost LOST it. I laughed and pointed to Steve that his MOm is thinking to TAKE the kids…it was so funny becasue she said it wasn’t what she was saying but had said she would use OUR house for home base and it was just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that woman…ANy woman that tried to usurp MY position with my children and my husband…beware… it is not going to be pretty….

THat is what Devon feels and although I try to tame her I sometimes lose my balance and she gets in and makes her point known…to Steve..

This trip is NOT going to be your mother’s Trip..I don’t like her vibe when she feels she has to control – which is always- I am not playing second fiddle to her in my trip and in my house and in anywhere….

I am not having it and make sure she knows that…that there is no mistunadetanding about this..to anyone..I am not dealing with controlling issues when this is MY time to totally be the controlling one… I am creating this….
So let it be known….all thee ….and if you don’t like it and if i am NOT pleasing you enough. Then the next stop is three minutes away…get off the SUSIE train…the next stop is coming…patience pays..

UGGGHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGh

S

Kitchen

THe week in review

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THe few days I spent with Christina were amazing. I had just finished shooting a film called ‘Cuddles” and I was heading home when I got a call.
HIIIIIII-
Oh hey Christina…wait are you in MIami already?
I am …should I come over?

I was amazed that I had forgotten that CHRISITNA was arriving today and I was surprised that we were actually going to see each other bc I didn’t know the schedule.

I waited for her and was beyond thrilled when she pulled up in her rented car. Thankful Miami is alluring to her and i live in Miami and we met.

We went to Plant at Sacred space sans ways and pulled in put the top up on the convertible took a photo of three trucks with the letter K lined up next to each other. Ate DISGUSTING kimchi ravioli and intense cheese and delicious raw lasagne and a yummy Kambucha and a severe shot of ginger and some other quesadilla dish…we left after laughing about how the waiter’s voice needs to be in Pirates of the Caribean…

She had a class the next day so she left and Tuesday flew by and then on Wednesday she came with me to record a few chapters from Elana’s new book at the Audacity studio in Hollywood. Two full hours and then we ate Greek octopus’s and drove south to get our nails done. She chose a really nice color for my toes and I did my nails and eyebrows…then I went home and went to the gym with my fmaily and she stayed home with Mason while he cooked a sun basket dinner. Then we met Maria and Jen at the house and took an UBER to Sherwood’s expecting to meet someone for JEN but nope
I was served a salad that had been tossed with straight Mustard…Jen ate a massive Cinnabon with Ice Cream…Maria ate a fruit cobbler…I had two drink of fresh squeezed apples martini and CHRISITNA drank a Margaritta and had the kale salad tossed with the correct dressing.

THe manager flew out to apologize when I almost died of Mustard overdose and replaced the salad BUT i will never be able to eat that salad again and the fact that I actually paid to have Kale and Mustard makes me want to THROW UP…

We all went home after that to drop off Jen and get Maria’s car we were going to try and go dancing but to NO avail..we ended up at Anderson’s which was MOrgans and NO ONE…I MEAN NADA a PERSONA was there.

We took photos laughed and I nearly fell asleep in the chairs I pushed together SLOPPY all over..

THursday I had an audition in the Biltmore in MIami and CHRISITNA drove with me…I did the Lottery buried Tressure audition and then we found a healthy diner in COral gables and ate an açaí bowl and she had eggs and I had bacon to even out the protein and we talked about instagram and social media and I was getting sick..the idea of it..annoyed and then we tried to find stripper shoes in our size up on 163 street where I thought they still were but no- the Jewish Hasidic owner was not there anymore and neither were my size 11 stripper shoes or her size 8 wide ones.

WE drove home and I was tired…getting my period no doubt…and we started to read our TAROT cared online. I asked the tarot cards “if my class would bring me financial success and the cards ..all came out an emotional peace cards and NOT any about financial…it made us think that that my money desires are gong to come from the acting work and that my class is more Passion and Healing…

That relaxed me

I layed on my bright yellow green window seat and maria came over my mom called about her upcoming MOES surgery I was happy the house was full of estrogen and Steve was….somewhere…of yeah…out with his BOYS
And then yesterday

Maria arrived for our FRIDAY workout at 7- we walked for an hour did lunges then bear crawls then abs and then ACV drink and Decaf coffee. I was still mulling over /Complainig about the past weekend REACTION to my mother in Law who had tried to do her typical move and i defended myself and my vision …we discussed and I got over it but also realized that I had in the present state with her…for the first time…I stayed home… and was working when my mom arrived…she was taking the boys for a few and she mentioned THanksgiving being held at my Ouse. I agreed with the caveat that i can invite people i like and as long as she doesn;t have an issue with that then ok..maybe Have Heather host it too…

Her face grimaced but she moved on and I think accepted the RULE- so again I was able to adjust the power house MOTHER and add in my two cents without being childish..

THen while she had the boys I found a woman to do my headshots and heard I got a call back from the Lottery Burried Treasure commercial I began to work on my lines for the upcoming PHARA EVENT on Tuesday and had s trying of emails with my EX husband TIM who after writing me a monologue about our relationship asked me to do the same…I was brutally HONEST about what a DICK he was and even in his version he agreed…I informed him why we would never have worked out how I never felt self and etc etc..then I ended it with the truth…but all is fair in LOVE and war and I respect you now and want the best for you and we are freinds…

I had also gotten letters from AMY and Mica and Daria and I had one from Maria so I almost Had NINE monologues…

Then after all that computer and sitting I
then went to get th eboys on SOUTH BEACH at a tennis show place and home…

I travel to SOUTH BEACH almost daily these days

That night…

I went roller blading with Tripp’s and Steve and Steve had Tipp’s and we ran him all around the park.. it was great then we dropped him off and I went alone with Steve and we had a nice roamintic RIDE through our NICE romantic neighborhood and then I went home and made the steaks and kale chips and a yummy Boc choy salad. Steve had lentil soup and started talking about his mom I felt a rush and then a cool and then it was over…I was done…I don’t need to harp on details about his fmaily anymore…it doesn’t concern me in the least and that is the truth…
I love them all and yet I have no desire to know how and what their beliefs are as I have spent all I can on that and it is time to refocus on MY thoughts..my life and my career and as SELFISH as it may appear it is NOT at all…..and being in anyone else VIBE is NOT FOR ME..

Today is class and then maybe Ill go to the gym…

WHo knows.
S

Kitchen

Hello…..Soho Beach House

By

Last year on December 11, I found out I had a membership to THE Soho house. I have been enjoying it all year but especially these last two months. I have devoted my FRIDAYS to RELAXING with my dear friend MARIA. We take the boys to school early and then we begin our full day or R and R.

IT has proven a very very productive venture. In these months I have learned to manage my time. Work on several projects without getting overwhelmed, connect with my girl freinds and just work out and have fun,

I love the SOHO house and I DEFY anyone to say anything bad about it.

It suits me..the women’s locker room is a breath of feminine elegance that ONLY women can enjoy and the feminine vibe and conversation that is held there is needed in our GENDER assimilated society.

I like being with GIRLS- Not Sexually… but for company and for companionship. Most for my freinds are women…but for a few…and I love that…and I am thankful that my DEAR FREIND MARIA and all her wonderfulness chooses to spend her FRIDAYS with me….

Maria and I became freinds about 7 years ago during T Ball and ever since we have been mostly in each other’s lives….I am happy for that…and I think she is too and our two boys love their two boys and it all seems to work out really well..

I am thankful to have a close companion on this ride called Motherhood////

Kitchen

Goodbye……Coffee

By

I went off coffee about two weeks ago while I was doing a three day detox on the Danette May diet. I went off and calmed down and when it was time to go back on…I thought…maybe just decaf…

So I have been on decaf these past few weeks and I have NOT fought with Steve. I have been very energized and have seemed to loose that tummy I was about to accept.

Coffee and Susie are not a great fit. From the position I am now, I can tell you I am even sweeter off cafine and people don’t drive me nuts and I am better at a slower reaction towards things and I can make better choices in how I want to handle my critics.

I am deliberate and free off of coffee and I like it.
I hope I remember I am a Decaf girl and remain that way for a while becasue I know in my heart that my heart is better for it.

Kitchen

TED TALK @ SURF out of your character.

By

Hello- My name is Susie K Taylor I am an Actor and I created and teach a class that uses acting techniques to heal emotional pains.

I was born and raised in Miami. My father practiced medicine and my mother is an artist. So- there you go.

A brief history of why I created this class SURF was that I was dealing with the death of my father and simultaneously trying to return to my acting career I had put on hold for almost a decade.

I was in therapy and I was renting a room at IRON FLOWER to try and remember myself and my acting chops through movement …get my emotional scales up to par and my body back in actor shape…

What I found was that through remembering my acting classes and combining movement techniques I studied…I created a way OUT…

I way out of the role of the grieving daughter.

This took time..I was teaching this since 2014 and I then began to perfect it at an acting school where I was a professor of movement..and now I have a class, a process and I guess a way of moving through this world that is working for me and others…

It is a movement class that teaches us all how to get out of character and approach the day, the story, the play, from a lesser charged point of view.

So how do we do that…

First we prepare our mind and our heart to accept a new conversation..another point of view…

Then we warm up our bodies with a sort of follow the leader based movement Vocabulary we learn ..and then we perform…

Now that we are opened and connected and also protected we sacrifice a story.

The student offers up a STORY with the full understanding that
1) it will be fully heard…
2) it will be fully believed
3) it will then be challeneged
4) it may turn out to not be true…anymore

The pain body can live in the present and that is a problem…If the pain is not happening right now…and we pretend and remind ourselves it is..then we are recreating that trauma over and over again and doubling down on it..

It can get very damaging…to the actor and to anyone around them

My belief is that we are NOT our stories and that we can learn to forgive them and move on..

The question is…then who are you?

I believe you are just lightness…at our core we are all creative beings and that we can emulate the happiness in our heart …if we are willing to see that and recieve that.

Most people- most people’s Ego’s don’t enjoy that because there isn’t anything to really HOLD onto…

Being Uncharged…which I work on every day….is the feeling that nothing – after you leave it- pulls on you too much…Good or bad..

When you are with that “ high charged real time situation” you navigate through it like an actor in a play and then when you leave …you walk out of the STORY…you are not threaded to it.

I have done this work  with almost all my family members I have had CHARGES from..some I went to personally and some I did the work in the room and that was enough…I have even gone back to exes and asked them to forgive me…for holding them in the negative energy all these years because our thoughts are powerful and if you believe you can do anything then you have to also believe you can hurt people our thoughts.

Each of these releases…released me..From….My roles that I was playing…like pleaser, seducer, manipulator. and victim started to get softer and softer and my awareness of not HOLDING onto any new pain became very conscious..

Ok..

SO the performance aspect of my class has a four step process that can be repeated as many time as needed and can start from the beginning or the end..

SURF
Story Understanding, Recasting. Flow

Actors are an important part of our society and when we are not healthy we can affect the society as a hole. Maybe that goes for all artist. Our power to communicate is our calling and if we are open and a viable to communicate and strengthen the pain body…well then that is what we will do to a society…create more pain

I challenger the artist of today to reimagine our world…another version than what is playing on the boob tube…a kinder version and PAINT and PLAY THAT…because everything else is just TRIGGERS and we need to as artist to end the STORY by not participating in it anymore..

LOVE SUSIE

Kitchen

Hello…..Voice over

By

WHen I lived in the City and I was working as a waitress, a cigar girl a trainer and an actress i auditioned for a pharma voice over. It was for obsessive compulsive disorder.

The video they showed us was a woman who was an indoor cyclist who was riding around in circles…I remember my line was….somethign like…

“Hello, my name is Sally…and I have obsessive compulsive disorder” then you woudl see this woman going round and round on this course….I can’t remember what happened…if I got paid or not but I got the gig…we recorded it…they made the commercial and then I was told the client felt the whole thing was too humorous…

Anyway…I went yesterday into a sound recording studio and began to build up my reel for voice over. I am good at this and it is very fun and I have been meaning to do this for two decades…boy what having kid and raising a fmaily and being married and being kind can cost you…HA

I am happy to inform those that are still in it that all the muscles strength you build from these parts of your life will indeed strengthen your ability to pursue your purpose when you get there…to because of the things that happened but just the strength and dexterity you created from dealing with them…becasue that is the biggest skill set…HOW YOU DEAL

So here are my two commercials….I am very excited

Commercial ONE

Commercial Two

Kitchen

Hello….Mia Mi

By

Mia wrote me a letter and I wanted to share it…I had asked her to …well asked all the people I loved to write a monologue about me for a play I was doing and she was the first to write back and the only one to write back without reminding…Mia is my freind…someone I woudl have never met in normal circumstances…but still…a person I respect – this is what she wrote…sort of a love letter from my point of view…

The 1st day I met you I wasnt sure what to think or how I felt, not just because I was fresh out of the hospital doped up on prescription pain killers but because you’re quirky and eccentric, full of energy. I for sure can say I’ve never met anyone like you before and anyone else that came close I tried to stay far away from because that kind of energy usually overwhelms and irritates me. Oddly you were different and instead of feeling overwhelmed or irritated I appreciated it. All that energy you have uplifted me in one of the worst times in my life.
You are an amazing person, you have to be special to get me to view and see something different as stubborn as I am. We both obviously come from two very different places in life and you showed me that the same thing I feared about you, I was wrongly doing myself but I’m glad we both gave each other a chance. Never once did I feel like you were judging me or bringing me even more down by feeling sorry for me. And I learned that even women that are educated, brought up in a great family, and environment can be humble and amazing not the stereotypical American Jewish Princess I thought you were going to be lol. You’re a strong tough woman and have so much courage and I thank you for coming to one of the roughest cities in Miami to listen to my bullshit while I’m rubbing medication on freshly stapled wounds and not freaking out or letting that scare you away from keeping in contact with me. I also thank you for not letting my criminal background stop you from trusting me I know your husband was probably advising you
Against letting someone like me into your home LOL.

THis woman mother lover is something of a force and if her opportunities were better or rather she could kill her demons she’s run this world…and all of us in it…sending her love and light and power that she already has in the tips of her fingers.

Kitchen

Hello…TrueSue

By

We here at Susie land have several version of ourselves. Pershaps it is due to the fact that I know myselves -I hear my selves- and I recognize when I am being a certain version of myself when I am not my True-Self.

I believe this version in particular.

But the The judgy version ( let’s call her JV) that thinks things I am embarrassed to share is the most dangerous and the most soft spoken. Not that she isn’t constantly speaking- she is but in whispers…she works better hidden in the corners…BUT

My when my TrueSue can HEAR JV and call he out..JV dies a little she is absorbed a little bit by TRUESUE and JV is left…a little …less mean, less limiting, less critical and that

That is progress.. ..

Question…will Contentment fuel income?

Kitchen

Hello….TIme

By

Time is folding in on us. I am meeting up with my younger self and we are totally in love with each other. Steve is passing people from his past and there is not a thread holding him. He is lighter and I am lighter and the concept of flying doesn’t feel so foreign.

Being married and being a wife and a mother and dealing with family members on all sides is a decade journey in negotiations— if they happen to be involved in your life. The cold distant type may seem like a problem but imagine the warm engaging type…those actually need your attention and your self awareness and in the end your love to the utmost.

Steve and I both have families that engage…desire…want and yearn to be involved…this is like a 40 person play that has to be wrangled…and for years I have attempted it but this year…

I fired myself. I am devoting myself to my work and focusing on my nuclear family and not feeling in any way beholden to the rest of them. I gave almost 20 years of my best and I still couldn’t play the role well so I’ll bid goodbye and stick to what I play best. I play ACTOR best…the girl that has the job that can’t make it RoLE…the one that is too busy to entertain any bizarre concept of not being good enough in my Brian becasue —-I don’t have time for that.

I am not nor never will be the ideal family member in a CUBAN family. I am not – even after all these years- good at the way they maneuver..each other…
Funny how cultures have this lineage of understanding that you will never know unless you are born into it…it is threaded into their DNA and you can’t change DNA.

I love them…with all my heart but looking back this constant need to please has broken me at my knees and I have let myself and my craft down.

There comes a time when you realize that if not now…if not fully now…for the love and joy of it…then when…

And Since i have no issues and no pretense to the type of acting I do other than ( for now) I have no desire to be an angry B*tch..but other than that…i am open to being here as an actor doing the work that I believe actors can and should be doing..Helping people communicate their truth…whatever that is.