Author: Susie Taylor

nothing to speak of here. Nothing at all. so why venture into my mind to search for what and why when all is going along as it is…all be it annoyingly OK. life is annoyingly fine and I like it i receive it I feel no need to BUCK it I feel no need to set it aside because of its luke-ness. warmth is a variable based on external and-internal factors..just fine is also based on those same factors and just fine…just fine is on the presuppose of nothing…absolutely….nothing…nada and that….seems just FINE to me too

It has come to my attention that the year someone was born is very important to the end result of what and who they will become. It has been stated that the year is a clear indicator to who and where you will turn up and add that to your heritage and your true self…well…

I feel the true self is often muffled

Muffled by heredity and birth year and to find oneself…well…it is a feat..
To pull back the covers. The mothers the fathers the sisters the brothers the lovers the haters the misrepresentations …..to pull them back it Work and most people are too focused on actual WORKF to do the Work except a few born in a certain year and in a certain time and with a certain means…

MEANING…

If you were born in the 74 then you cam of age int he 80 and then you were sent into the work force in the mid to late 90’s and just as you were about to have a marriage say 28 the world trade center fell and with it the double punch— life ain’t what you were told…so sit your ass down and reset…
return rewrite and find a way to FIX this shit…
I mean not that you ARE married and have kids and know the TRUTHS….the hard truths and were given that TIME to find your power and then inverted it into Motherhood which is a natural act but perhaps not a natural show for many of us MOTHERS born into FREEDOM with no clear goal but to to do more than our others did because HEY they were just STAY at homes and look what that got them and then…then you are the stay at home bc of LIFE and time and the year you were born and you are in yourself the thing you were raised to be better than…says the commercials and such and so we hate ourselves and our mothers and then ourselves and it is a loop de loop until you pull back those covers and REMEMBER

Remember the moment before the hate before you decided NOT to be her before you even aligned or dis-aligned with her…

When you were JOY FILLED and the times where you were away and on your own and just being…before she said a word and popped your imagination float…

Thats where the women of 1974 are RIGHT now…. hanging out in our imagination float thinking…what world can I build up here….i remember I had a doll house with barbies I cut the hair off…an elevator with a string I pulled and rooms so many rooms to play in …

Where the fuck are my rooms… I needs more rooms more ROOM more
and I sit here with nature because she is everlasting and never tires of me and allows me to pull he and play with her and b with her and she NEVER ever pops my float….
Dear Miss. MOther Nature…

I am an actress…
Period.

If I have attempted to be anyhting but.
a business inventor healer type.

That was a role. An experiment to see… perhaps I could be different….
align
A line

but nope

regardless though it works..
The bib
the method
I am in the end… in the end

an actor and all the words that define her I am
all of them

And despite my trying to be another.
to fit mother wife daughter sister nicer
I am no other but an artist actor

s

Susanne Kreitman Taylor ( Susie K. Taylor) is the creator of SURF Method and an Actor in Miami, Florida. She began her fitness career in New York City where she became certified by A.C.E. and Johnny G. She taught at several gyms throughout the city, including Crunch and New York Heath and Racquet. Her focus was Spin, Cardio Kickboxing, and Personal training. In Miami, Taylor became certified in Pole Dancing through Soul Tree Motion.

Besides fitness, Susie holds a Post Graduate degree in Classical Theater from Webber Douglass Academy in London, A B.A. in Theater from Penn State and is a graduate of New World School of the Arts. Her comprehensive training in the theater combined with fitness and her personal experiences led her to want to develop a fitness class to help actors get OUT of character, something she felt was missing in her training and her life.

Susie spent three years as a Movement Professor for Actors at New York Film Academy perfecting her method. Her work and research birthed what she now calls SURF tm (Story Understand Recast Flow) : How to get out of character.

Taylor found that the class was not only helpful for actors but helpful to everyone. With a focus on selflove and authentic movement, SURF helps heal individuals and relationships by teaching people Emotional Awareness through the joy of movement.

Taylor believes timing is everything and looks forward to helping you promote your new clothing line along with her SURF method.

Taylor is the Author of SURF tm An actors Method out of the Madness and the Founder and Artistic Director of The Creative Shelter. A place for creative Wellness where she teaches her class SURF, offers retreats, and develops well ART based on her SURF method.
Taylor was seen on Shark Tank for her invention bibbitec, the Ultimate bib.

I drove into my driveway last night. The grey stoned gravel sprinkled with fresh weeds attmpting to get by my husbands watchful eye sounded my arrival.

You always know when someone is visiting when you have a gravel driveway. comforting sound.

I stepped out of my gun metal audi wearing a sweaty workout outfit. Blue leggings I had finally found after their two month hiding stint in someones room and a blank tank with na green tree and with the Hebrew letters.

I had just finished my second self defence class with JD. An olympian martial arts instructor that also happens to drive a q7 audi…but in white.

As I closed my care door the stronge smell of burnt popcorn filled my nostrils. The venetian blinds on the front window were revealed that the actual windows were slid open and a smile began to cross my face.

Someone other than me burnt popcorn.

I was entering into a house of smoke and there was a fan place strategically in the main entrance trying to dissipate the smell.

The funny thing about smoke is how it never really is dissipates. You can smell it days after. on a towel, on the couch….smoke sticks to things.

That is how energy is…it sticks and the darker and thicker it is the more it sticks. Dark energy doesn’t dissipate easily. it needs time and it needs washing and we need to acknowledge that- like smoke- energy can hide in places wishing our own selves..

Clearing energy like clearing smoke…requiers persistance and anyone in a house can burn somethign and create it or can come home and bring it in…

i created a method
I tested the method
I developed the method
I trained people n the method
I trained instructors in the movement
I wrote a book about the reason for the method.
I wrote a play usng the method of joy to create content.
I made a retreat and taught female Doctors about the idea
I have Have a space
I have a website
I have MYSELF

I am a performance artist
and I know why and how I am.

I am dong stand up classes
I am creating a new piece
Boobs Butts and BOTOX

Whats the difference between botox and Lobotomies
Nothing

numbing the nerves is a thing
at a time like ths

I break up with women often. I try and remember where it started. Who was my first break up and why? Maybe it was Jennifer at Camp Robndale. I remember we went as friends and left not really talking or something horrible like I joined the mean kids and picked on her-

I remember in junior high, I was not very loving to people. I didn’t know that but I was popular and so i must have had my moments and i was told i was snobby. or so they say.

In high school I broke up with Sofi.
I think t was because she was dating a kid and we didn’t like it so we stopped talking to her. I guess that was my first official break up.

In college My roommate GWEN who got drunk and tried to beat me up. We broke up
In London my record was clean
In NY my college sorority sister Marcy and I lived together and then broke up
I was trained by Terri and we broke up
I had kids and Amy and I broke up
And in Miami, the list is so long
kara bc of pancakes
Jodi regarding bibbitec
Melissa and
Michelle re the what if
Katherine re the Bettie and bunny
Nika re an email
Dana re my retreat
Christina re misrepresentation

In a span of 47 years that seems about right.
I have also had deep female friendships with dozens women that have lasted since 3rd grade, 7th grade, new moms, new artist friends….I have had many more relationships with women work than not. I have many friends and I make them often and I try and tend to them as best I can but some will go into hibernation and thats part of being.

Susie

if i am your friend…if i let you take a seat at my internal caldron…it is forever …unless it isn’t. Knowing oneself has been my last decades goal but has been a part of my experience of life since I read Richard S. Bach’s Johnathan Livingston seagull.

Time is not linear and it is frayed and it has, at times, a shelf life. Lifetimes of friendships can end. I have many loses in this arena. Women change roles so often in life it doesn’t seem off that friendships with women do too.

The year of quarantine has left me with many more deep connections and many less shallow ones.

one less today.

it has been dwindling for a couple of years…hit the wall but i refused to fully feel it. I adore her and yet I realize that if she thinks this of me now she has always felt this way in my presence and that makes me sad but also makes me want to just table the relationship.

but she has been a great dear friend of mine. In many ways and for many years but our roads are crossing too closely or perhaps not close at all. regardless…i make space

i say nothing with love and only not thinking…from her eyes, and it is responded to towards me with nothing -for us to gain from just pain and accusations and labels… there are waves i am in the current of and no matter that i am not the wave the VIEWER sees what it sees. I am one with the wave and thus i am the wave and in that i crash into HER.

When someone’s impression of you remains the same while you try to adjust around it is because you yourself can not adjust anymore..the time has come…the lifetime of the friendship has yielded her kind hand and so it is with grace and a tinge of resolution that i say goodbye- yet again and make room and space for another sister to warm my heart

love Susie

The funny thing is that the items in question are 100% based on her lack of understanding my context.
She doesn’t know my grandfather met my grandother by making his friend hit the car in front so he could JUMP out and introduce himself to my grandmother. She was dressed in her riding clothes and he was moved to meet her. I find those actions adorable and romantic and refreshing…

The LOVES in my life manifest with all races and beliefs and sexes.
I love people who are creative and sexy and interesting to me. i am a creative elistist

Susie

nothing really changes when you surround yourself with the same people. Their perception of you is locked in and difficult to change and the energy they help you maintain is then brought out into the world. It can hijack all you are building on another plain. It is a magic trick; it is a wrestling match it is a fight for your new you and it is not in a fun light easy thing. If it is easy it isn’t happening…you are simply side stepping.

Three times is too many. I have bells, they go off when I am in a danger zone, when I am walking down a path, I know has MINES….i hear them…I second guess them and then there is always a third one that burns my finger that will cause me to about face.

I had that ….another lover who gets too close for comfort and pulls lightly on a rug. First a tug, then a mistaken trip and then…like ALWAYS…the loud and clear clanging of the table wear falling to the ground.

DONE

I will once again exit a story. kindly and with grace.

I am once again not interested in risking feeling USED by another creative. I DO NOT enjoy it…or maybe I do?

..but I have to release that.

From this moment on I vow to NEVER co create with another female DIVE. I am the QUEEN B and I am not interested in pretending I want of desire a partner.

I am the one lying after all then…pretending…I want to play…

I have needed this LAST lesson…I have had to address it as this would have been the person that would align with me with mission but in the end…it is JUST LIKE LAST TIME.

A scorpion stings…its her nature…even if she does it followed by a hug.

I am not tricky enough to USE people for too long…. but oh how I feel used and so I must be…and goodbye goodbye and thank you.

I am over that. I said my peace….she knows my truth and all I can say is

I want for you what you want for you.

S

I have this thing where I get bucked out of my role not just by myself but also by others. It feels like shit and I hate it and then…a few moments or days later I freaking LOVE it.

no clue

no idea

I try and cling to branches that I know..

.weak ones…

they crack

thank goodness.

I resit putting my feet down… I try and extend the flight…a little longer.

ill touch down…soon, i assume…Ill touch down and place my feet upon the ground

and dance as i silk to the groove of the jilt

I am feeling it too. knowing that time is shortly here. youll understand me fully but that fact will kill me truly.

I’ll awake as a new version and this one that is typing will be done..

Till then I will enjoy and softly ill explore.

breath

breath

breath